Depression is a beautiful, wondrous snowstorm

Feeling down?

Anyone capable of reading this has dealt with depression in some way. If you’re looking for formal statistics, it’s estimated that 300 million worldwide experience depression. Informally, it’s probably safe to assume that 100% of adults have had at least one difficult period in life they’ve been forced to endure.

It can be triggered in a number of ways, come in varying degrees of intensity and last for days, weeks, even years at a time. That is to say, each “episode” of depression may hit different.

How should you “deal” with depression?

Of course, there are multiple ways to manage depression and each individual may have their own process for doing so. Some may utilize prescribed medicine, mental and/or physical exercise, creative outlets, hobbies, therapy, support from loved ones or a combination of the above. Yet only 20% of depressives treat symptoms consistently, and 35% don’t bother treating them at all.

Why don’t they? A more interesting question: Should they?

This is not to argue that depression should be left untreated, or left to the individual to treat themselves. But for those who choose to hunker down and endure their depressive episodes, there may be great value in this exercise. Let’s metaphorically explore this idea for a moment.

Depression is a snowstorm

Maybe depression is in your nature as a cognitive being, just as a snowstorm is part of the Earth’s nature.

Sure, on paper it sounds nice to have each day be sunny, windless and warm. But it’s impossible for nature to provide such consistent weather, as there are so many elements at work. And so the Earth rotates and revolves farther from the Sun each year, and its ecosystem builds pressure over the course of its external travels and as interior stimulations are inflicted - that pressure must inevitably be released.

What can you do to prevent a snowstorm from coming?

Nothing.

What can you do to prepare for the storm, when the signs point to one coming?

Plenty (see above).

What can you do during the storm, to endure and appreciate its natural course, and embrace it as a positive component of your cognitive process?

Be observant, appreciate the course of its nature, reflect on the beauty of snowfall and how it comes to be, and…

Let it pass

So next time you feel a storm coming, prepare to experience it in a new way. May the words here (including the more poetic ones below) help you gain new perspective on the nature of depression - you may be surprised at how wonderful and insightful it can be.

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Snowstorm

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It feels like a storm’s coming

The wind picks up, starts carrying

HEAVIER things

The sky… it’s cowering like an

Empty canvas left untouched for

Toooo Longggg… but still, ready

While the clouds - they move slow,

Methodical to grow in size,

Gather in numbers

And gain in strength

They procure pressure only to

Release it all.

Maybe you’ve been looking down,

Missing its many signs

It’s so cold, maybe you’re sheltered inside

And won’t even bother going out

Until it passes

Or do you anticipate this,

To embrace the storm

Knowing you can’t control the weather -

Is it in your nature?

Because if you could -

Sit on a hill huddled with

Things to keep you warm

Watch the snowflakes fall,

Listen to their gentle patters

As they accumulate just like

They did as clouds

Let the storm’s air touch your skin, and

Breathe new life into you

Experience the storm for what it is -

Oh, you would be so alright

At peace in your own elements

In awe of these every day wonders

"Alliteration's Allegory" - A Poem in Hindsight of a Great and Terrible Year

“It is the task of the enlightened not only to ascend to learning and to see the good but to be willing to descend again to those prisoners and to share their troubles and their honors, whether they are worth having or not. And this they must do, even with the prospect of death.”
― Plato, The Allegory of the Cave

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Angel’s advocate -

Amidst best bets, crediting

Cool, calm, collected debts

Devil’s deal -

Digging dirty ditches

Entering exodus... emptiness

Embellishment-etched,

Embezzlement-esque

Fine fonts flaunting fairness,

Fronting for fostered,

Forceful face-fuck fests

Façade freedom gatherings

God’s gift -

Growing generational governance,

Garnering half-hating, half-hailing

Impressionistic Incessancy

In in-cre-ments,

Insisting it invites

Independence, isn’t its

Inside joblessness

Jesus’ jobe -

Jabbing, “just-joshing” jokes

Kinda kidding, kinda killing laughter

Listening less, lapsing life’s lessons

Letting love lose,

Leveraging loathsome laments

Mocking moments,

Missing memories

Making more

Mortal’s mission -

Noble’s Nemeses

Necromancing "new normals",

Neglecting old obligations, often

Offering opportunistic options -

Positions, power, protection, pardons... politics.

Prophecy's pressure -

Pro quids, questioning quos

Queued quests quoting qi - quitting quips

Queen's quarrel -

Remedies? Rest, reality, reflection, reset, retur...

Recess! Silly. Same swan song, shaking/still

Searching such selfish souls

Slaves shoveling shit superiors stole

Saint’s secret -

Some say, "So?", sometimes sans "sorry", so...

Time's tenet -

Truth trying to tell tall tales,

This then that,

Tit/tat, tisk tisk table-top taps,

"Touch This" traps, touchless

Tongue-tipped, though usually

Uttering undone “ummms” under voiceless

Vader-y ventilations, vibing via vindicated violence

Virgin's view -

Washed, wavelengths wishing without

Wondering, “Why?” Well, why would we?

Whatever.

Warrior’s womb -

Xenic xebecs xeriscaping

Xenophobic xenodiagnoses

Yielding, yet yearning, your yesterdays - yikes!

Yelling (yelping) your yesses - yawn

Zealous zen zones/zombie zoos - Zzz...

Zigzag zeitgesits zeroing zodiacs (zillions) - zing!

Zion’s zenith -

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A Thoughtful Discussion on the Best Movies of the Decade

Hey all - Hope you’re enjoying the Holidays!

With 2020 right around the corner, I thought I’d share a pretty solid read regarding some of the best movies of the soon-ending decade.

I’m so thankful for the friendship I’ve developed with these two Austinites, Adam and Sam (who “co-wrote” the below discussion with me). Not only do they appreciate cinema like I do, but they also happen to be very thoughtful, just genuinely awesome people. And they know a shit-ton about movies.

Anyway, as members of our long-running Movie Committee group, we tasked one another with each coming up with a ranked list of our own top ten films of the 2010s. We then shared our respective lists in a group chat, and discussed.

So, if you’re in the mood for a well-rounded, interesting deep-dive into some of the best flicks this decade had to offer, sit back and enjoy the following (well-written) conversation between Sam, Adam and myself. You got two options:

I’ll scroll for you (and provide a soundtrack!):

Discussion written by Samantha Deese, Adam Nevarez and Andrew Chase. Music: “Young” by Ian Ewing Ft. Flamingosis

Or scroll yourself:

View fullsize

Discussion written by Samantha Deese, Adam Nevarez and Andrew Chase

And there you have it. What are some of your favorite movies of the decade?

Stop Pursuing Happiness

Not too long ago, after a couple beers at the bar with a fellow patron, I brought up this familiar phrase, "The pursuit of happiness". Almost immediately, the gentleman I was sharing this conversation with myth-busted the happiness pursuit idea, and told me something that has stuck with me ever since:

"Sadness is just as important as happiness, and perhaps even more important. To me, life isn't about the pursuit of happiness. It's about the pursuit of experience."

He's right. I think the pursuit of happiness is a cheap trick. What about sadness, and all other emotions in between? Not to say that you should pursue sadness, but to choose only happiness - out the entire spectrum of emotion that we humans can experience - as the end-all-be-all in terms of life fulfillment, is stupid. I mean, how would you even know what happiness is, without taking the time to know sadness?

We're human. The fact that we can feel anything at all is a gift. Even if a feeling seems negative at the time, don't ignore it just because it isn't the feeling that you're after. Explore it. Appreciate it. Learn from it.

So, since I don't have a couple beers in me at this time, I'd like to improvise a bit on the thought that my fellow patron originally shared:

Pursue experiences that make you feel something, embrace and explore that something (even if it isn't happiness), and adjust your pursuits accordingly. 

15 (Really) Short Stories to Make You Think (and/or Softly Chuckle)

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What fun it is to doodle!

My Mom and Dad bought me a sketchbook as part of a large-scale project being produced by the Brooklyn Art Library. Appropriately titled "The Sketchbook Project", it allows for anyone to register and submit a 30-page sketchbook about anything, which would then be archived as part of their growing library in both hard copy and digital form. 

So, I decided to revisit my childish roots and create a series of one-page stories. Each is accompanied by an extremely amateur illustration, rendered by me via colored pencils (this is why I stick to writing).

Of course, this collection is dedicated to my parents, who continue to support my creativity, and who always inspire me to be thoughtful.

Enjoy!

"Love"

Giraffe: You're the reason I breathe!

Tree: I've fallen for you!

Giraffe: Wait I can't breathe now.

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"The Catstronauts"

Let's go be curious eight times.

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"Math is Hard"

Teacher: Can you solve this problem?

Student: Sure, why not?

Teacher: Oh.

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"Quantum Physics Explained in One Sentence"

The period located at the end of this sentence can be everything, nothing, everywhere and nowhere all at the same time, and is only a period located at the end of this sentence when you see it as such .

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"Finding the Right Balance"

Yes: Does this thing look balanced to you?

No: Maybe.

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"Pluto"

Pluto: Your honor, I believe that I'm a planet.

Judge: Well, then I guess you are.

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The Broken Record

Person 1: I can't figure out how to make this work.

Person 2: We'll just have to play it by ear.

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The Genie

Genie: I shall now grant you one wish!

Girl: I wish to feel like I never need to wish for things.

Genie: I'll just go back in my lamp.

Girl: Sounds good.

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"Locked Out"

Knight: I will tear down your walls!

Emperor: It'd probably be easier if you just convinced me to open up my doors.

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"Journey"

Co-pilot: Let's go there.

Pilot: No, let's be here.

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"States of Water"

River: I want to be cooler.

Icicle: I want to go with the flow more.

Cloud: I'm so confused, I think I just want to cry.

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"Best Friends"

Boy: Stay.

Dog: When have I ever left?

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"The Pillow"

Old Man 1: Do you remember what goes here?

Old Man 2: Not sure. Let's sleep on it and revisit tomorrow.

Old Man 1: I like that you're thinking ahead.

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"Change"

There is the decision to and the act of. But first, there is the knowing that you can.

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"The Alien"

Alien: Hey. I just came by to tell you that you're not alone.

Asking the Right Question

"We are just an advanced breed of monkeys on a minor planet of a very average star. But we can understand the Universe. That makes us something very special." - Stephen Hawking

How does the universe work?

The smartest people in the world have been working on this question for centuries. Some say we've made progress, though I'm not so sure. See, when it comes to big questions like this, there are many factors to consider before even attempting to come up with an answer.

First of all, in order to come up with an answer for something, you have to know what you're asking. More on that later.

Another important factor to consider when approaching a big question is the method by which you plan to answer it. With a complex problem such as the mystery of the universe, you’re not going to get very far in solving it unless you have some sort of system; some sort of organized method by which you can track your progress and begin to comprehend this complex subject that you are choosing to explore. 

A system is also important because it will help you not only organize and understand things for yourself, but it will help others understand as well. In helping others understand your way of thinking and your system, you can then start to build credibility, and perhaps community, around it. This brings us to yet another factor to consider: belief.

Any progress we’ve ever made in understanding things, like the true nature of the universe, is built upon a belief system. Religion, philosophy, spirituality, science, astrology, politics.  These are all belief systems. Some systems use sense. Some use logic. Some use a little bit of both. Regardless, they all help establish a general consensus about things, and help keep us in check when we go off to explore the big stuff.

So, if you have a big question, there may already be an established belief system in place that can help you answer it. If not, you could always form your own belief system. Ah. Yet again, we’ve arrived at another - and perhaps the most significant - factor to consider when approaching any big question: you.

The universe is everything. You, a human, act merely as part of it - an origin point from which you can observe the universe - everything - around you. And not only can you observe it, you also have the ability to perceive it however you see fit. This ability forms your own, personal perspective about the nature of the universe and your place as part of it. It is your consciousness, and it is responsible for any question that you have ever asked.

So, back to my first point about knowing what you're asking - do the smartest people in the world want to know how the universe works? Or, do they want to know how the universe works as it relates to their own human experience of it? Logic or sense?

Who are you?

Everything is Cooking - A piece by Rashad Daoudi

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Welcome my son, to Cooking in the Machine

Today we're featuring the business development region

Mmmmh, I love biz dev food

I know your boss sure does

Ha ha oh stop it

Today we’ll be making a Bad Salesman

Easy to be yet complicated to understand

But what did you dream?

Never mind that, to get started you’ll need:

2 pounds fear

1 pound shame

1-cup excuses

1-cup doubt

1/2-cup cowardice

1/4-cup tension

2 tbsp. of being real

Lots of salt

A lifetime of inadequacy

Future doubt

Past successes

A dash of pity, contempt, and idealism

Mix ingredients by hand in a glass bowl

Wrap in foil

Bake at 420 degrees for 15 years

To best enjoy, throw away

Garret, Part 2

Fucking Garret.  

As you might’ve gathered, there had been a bit of history between me and this oversized, always awkward SOB. See, Garret was the guy who always seemed to mysteriously show up at the most inopportune time; the guy nobody wanted showing up in the first place. Yet, somehow, he'd always be there, lingering like the smell of night-before beer on the morning after. Always there. 

“Back here again, I see,” muffled Garret after a long drag from his menthol cigarette. As predicted, his first remarks were pointed and with malice intent. Given the occasion, I almost thought we might’ve shot the shit first. Nope. He came out swinging, and so be it.

“I just missed you, is all. Aren’t you happy to see me?” Taking this type of sarcastic, confident stance was a risky move with this bozo. But the odds were stacked against me from the get-go and, if I was going to make it out of this one, I needed to try and stand my ground.

“I’m always happy to see you,” prodded Garret. “I just thought you might’ve learned your lesson after last time. Guess not. Whatcha drinkin’? Wait - let me guess - bad attitude, lit cigarette, this bar...  whiskey?” As if he needed to ask.

Out of everything that went down that night, it was this moment that I remember most vividly. I remember sensing his permeating excitement, as he prematurely assumed victory. I remember how contagious it was. It hit me like an angry fog. I suddenly felt something I hadn’t before - something that had been eluding me ever since the first time I met Garret.

Control. 

My flicked cigarette sparked as it struck the cement. My eyes sparked just the same, as I violently flared them at Garret’s off-guard smirk. I had him shook, and so I decided to take advantage. It was time to stop talking, and start walking. 

“You know how much I like a good whiskey. Speaking of, isn’t it your turn to buy?” Just like I had taken his bait before, I knew he had no choice but to take mine. I turned to head back into the bar. Garret followed.

At last, it was time to settle this once and for all.

Tense: a poem on the subject of time

Tense

I wear it as if it were mine

Flying by, violent ticks deride me

Used myself unwisely

I find here what I lose there

Gearing up to re-wind and re-watch on repeat

Yet somehow I counter myself and move backwards

Tense, fractiously laughing in my big picture's background

While fractions of moments scatter-brain by like migraines

I lose track,

As I run out of space to save all that slipped away

I travel past all that might've lasted

Inured to the vivid blur of my future

Holding another stupor, wasted

Bending to the once mentor, turned user,

Turned "never learned" loser

As bright as a sundial at midnight,

The line is tight, so I run,

While standing still to watch it strike

But it stops, right when I would have been present